


love like you (i could even learn how to love me like you do)

by starkissedsuna



Category: Given (Anime), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Abusive Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Given AU, Healing, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Soft Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Soft Todoroki Shouto, diaster boys in love, learning to love yourself, playing music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkissedsuna/pseuds/starkissedsuna
Summary: in which shoto todoroki inherits a guitar from his older brother and doesn't know how to play it until he meets izuku midoriya.
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo, Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku & Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> If I could begin to be  
> Half of what you think of me  
> I could do about anything  
> I could even learn how to love
> 
> in which shoto todoroki learns to love himself by loving music and izuku midoriya
> 
> the given au no one asked for but would not leave my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> todoroki gets a guitar but loses a brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not edited and kinda rushed but i hope you enjoyed.

Todoroki Shoto remembers the night his older brother disappears. It wasn't a particularly dramatic or eventful thing. Or at least it wasn't to him. It was something he expected, so the phantom pain of no longer having his older brother around doesn't hurt as much as it's supposed to. It wasn't like he had time to grieve the departure of his brother anyway, but what's there to grieve when he would have done the same given the chance?

There’s no time to grieve when he’s was too busy with the task of consoling a sobbing mother who held a hand to her cheek to soothe the purple and blue bruise that began to bloom on her porcelain colored skin from an angry husband. With his thunderous voice and clenched fist, he claimed it was all her fault their son left them.

Shoto thinks the man who helped in the process of bringing him into the world, who is barely a husband much less a father, with the amount of late nights and ways he smells like too sweet and too expensive perfume that makes Shoto gag, has no right to say that. It takes everything in him to swallow the bitterness and resentment and urge to scream that it was all his fault his brother packed his stuff in the middle of the night and left without a word. 

Instead he says nothing and pulls his mother closer. 

The morning after his oldest brother leaves, his father tells him and his siblings to clean up whatever is left of his brother’s room, and they can do what they want because even if his brother eventually comes crawling back, he will never be welcomed. 

Shoto thinks his father should stop holding his breath. 

Touya is never coming back. 

The realization is both heartbreaking and relieving all at the same time. 

His sister Fuyumi, doesn’t want anything but a few old pictures from when they were younger. She leaves the room, clutching a picture where Touya’s fire licked strands were bright like flames in the sun and his arm thrown around Fuyumi and Natsuo and he looks like— the happiest he’s ever been. 

Touya stopped smiling like that after their father’s first hit. 

He changed his hair color too. 

An act of rebellion he joked when Shoto asked, but they both knew it was because he wanted to get rid of anything that reminded him he came from someone like their father. 

Natsuo steals a leather jacket and some t-shirts and leaves without much of a word. 

He won’t admit it but he’s taking it harder than any of them. 

Shoto almost takes nothing until he spots a cherry red electric guitar with a note tucked in between the strings. 

In neat handwriting that’s a little smudged like it was written in a rush read: So I’m guessing if you’re seeing this, I finally got the balls to leave that godforsaken house. How’s the asshole taking it? Bet he’s starting to worry about his precious little reputation being ruined huh? I’m not gonna say I’m sorry for leaving because the truth is, I’m not. I’m sorry I couldn’t take you with me Shoto. I’m sorry that I left you, okaa-san, Fuyumi and Natsuo with that monster. But I’m not ever coming back. I’m sorry for leaving you little brother, but I want you to have this old thing. It’s not the best but I remember how much you loved watching me play it. It’s yours now so maybe you can learn to play something a lot more cooler than I did. 

We’ll meet again, one day.  
— touya (or dabi, trying something new). 

Shoto doesn’t say anything as he tucks the slip of paper into his jeans pockets and stands, clutching the guitar in his hands. He spots a leather bound notebook that was near where the guitar was that only says: for shoto on it. 

He takes it and he leaves. 

He doesn’t go back into his brother’s room ever again and neither does anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no izuku but we'll see him soon <33


	2. PART II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> todoroki thinks of the memories attached to his brother's guitar and if he wants to play music again

Shoto has no idea what to do with his new guitar. It’s been weeks since his brother’s biggest _fuck you_ to their dad by disappearing without a trace and Shoto has only learned three chords and that’s because he searched up a twenty minute guitar lessons for beginners video on youtube.

The sun sits heavy on his skin as he sits on the floor of the bedroom with his brother’s guitar in his lap, mindlessly messing around with the strings and there’s something heavy at the bottom of his stomach; hollow as it is. His computer lies somewhere at his feet, in the background a man with a loud voice tells him the chords for G.

It’s not like Shoto isn’t musically inclined. Ever since he was three years old he’d been a pianist and violinist. He lost count of the little cuts and bruises and imprints from gripping the strings on violins that decorated his fingers. When he was learning to play, there was no room for fuck-ups or mistakes or the punishment was severe.

Shoto remembers the first hit from his father after messing up during a lesson, he was only three and half years old, and he remembers the bruise that bloomed across his face. It was the first time he started to hate his father and it was the first time he learned what makeup was and the perfect foundation for his complexion.

It came in handy when he turned six and he had boiling water poured on his eye from a frantic mother who didn’t know what she was doing.

It’s not a lack of musical inclination, it’s more of a lack of wanting to learn how to play his brother’s old guitar, of wanting to actually play music again.

Shoto hasn’t touched an instrument in four years and he hates that his father was the reason for it.

Shoto thinks about the way his brother used to play. He would hear his older brother at night and in the mornings and he plays guitar until his fingers cramp and he has to wrap bandages around them. Touya played like he forgot the world was around him. He would strum at his guitar with expertise that people spend their whole life trying to replicate.

When Touya played, the only thing that seems to exist was the voices of him and his band mate Hawks, which what a weird fucking stage name, especially when he refused to be called anything else. Touya would talk about him like he hung all the stars in the galaxy. Like he was what made the world so golden.

Shoto thinks his brother was in love, and he hopes wherever he is now, he still is.

Shoto inhales deeply and he plays a series of chords he remembered his brother playing and he lets his fingers fly, moving on their own accord.

It’s not perfect and it’s not the way Touya played, it’s still missing something (passion, it’s missing the passion his brother had) but it’s better than where he started.

He stops playing when he senses a presence. A towering man with a large build and a muscular physique. He has short and spiky, crimson colored hair with turquoise eyes that have an angry flame in them.

“This is not what I told you to do son. You have homework, put that useless thing away and finish your assignments. You already gave up concert performances, must you give up getting into a good college?” His father, Enji Todoroki, asks with narrowed eyes as he watches his son with a frown.

Shoto almost forgot how much his father hated this guitar and to extent, the first son who owned it.

“I already finished my homework thanks for the concern. And this useless thing could probably pay half of my tuition to the college of my, excuse me, _your_ dreams. You’d cover the rest with your amazing acting career won’t you? You sure do out on the act of doting father so well in public.” Shoto replies, barely glancing up as he could already feel the rage radiating off of his father.

“Do not speak to me that way, Shoto. Have some respect, I am your father.” Enji snarls as he clenches his fists together.

Shoto does not fear his father. Not anymore.

“Unfortunately.” Enji clenches his jaw. “Do not become like your brother.” Enji tells him, glancing down at the guitar with distaste, and it sounds almost like he is pleading before his stony demeanor returns and he leaves the room.

Shoto smirks and begins playing again, even louder.

He thinks he found his new drive to get back into music, pissing off his dad. 

He pauses his playing to pick up his phone and sends a single text to his piano playing best friend Momo Yaoyorozu. 

_ hi. i need help learning how to play guitar. help me. _

As Shoto awaits her reply he plays as he hums a melody that has been stuck in head since he was little. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty short and still no izuku but dont worry <3  
> hopefully chapter three makes you happy <33


End file.
